


Voice of Hope

by Rizzykins



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-09
Updated: 2017-09-09
Packaged: 2018-12-25 13:53:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12037260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rizzykins/pseuds/Rizzykins
Summary: "It's a new day, world."Citizen Z gives reader all the feels [with some 10K fluff because I can't help myself]





	Voice of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Impatiently waiting for S4 has caused a surge in my brain, thus making me decide writing more for Z Nation was a good thing. I feel like this one is kinda jumpy, but I tried, forgive me D:

"It’s a new day, world." Citizen Z's voice floated out of the speakers of the FM radio of the sleek little red car as it zoomed down the empty open roads, the light had just begun to break through the veil of dark bringing the time to rest to a hasty close. Inhabitants of the vehicle were groggy at best listening to the voice of the of the only person left on the airwaves as the mission to California started up once again. Trying to sleep in such a small car had proved rather difficult for the crew, most of them being far too tall to even seat themselves comfortably, but it sure as shit beat the hell out of sleeping outside in these times.

"If you're hearing this it means you've made it, you're still among the living. Congratulations. You can carve another mark into that wall, that leather wallet, whatever it is you've been keeping count on." I watched the trees pass, just green blurs going by at almost sixty miles an hour, debating in my own head if it was worth even trying to fall back asleep now, the radio mans voice giving the information about the goings on elsewhere in the world causing me to second guess doing so. "I thought about talking to you more about everything again today, but I'm sure we all know what's going on out there by now. It's weird really, knowing my voice is the only one making rounds out here, knowing you're all probably tired of hearing me. But what else is there to do? I ask myself this question on a daily basis, probably fifty times a day." His scoff was audible, "Talking to you. It's all I've got, I'm all alone here. No other voices. Unless you guys like impersonations of Yogi Bear or Donald Duck, I can do that."

For a moment I felt a tiny tug in depths of my stomach at his words. No, not at the ones about the cartoon bears and duck. The ones about being all alone. I knew what that was like all too well, his feelings at this very moment, the crippling loneliness this new world could drag someone into. I had been down that same path just months before, the solitude was really something else now, enough to force a person into crazy thoughts. 

Hopefully for us, the members of Operation Bite-Mark, he was more grounded than I had been back then. We needed this voice, the rest of the living needed this voice. Unlike me he had people listening to him, knowing he was there, no one had known that about me. No one was around to hear me speak, to know I was still here.

Thinking back pre-Z, I was always trying to shut myself out of things. Too much went on in my young life I just wanted a break from. Family, friends, my shitty job at that local grocery store, all of it makes my head want to just explode. I used to spend my days trying to find a form of peace in the otherwise busy world. But then, everything, it all happened so quickly. There were no more crowds of people bustling down the street, no more friends calling my cell phone at all hours of the day, no more parents yelling about the trash or dishes, no more joyous yells of children as they ran down their cul de sac immersed in play, no dogs barking at the wind, no car horns being blared at someone who was too fucking stupid to use their blinker. None of that remained anymore. I found myself alone in a world with nothing but monsters, trying every day to keep the flesh on my bones, my insides...inside. The world had become a dead zone, literally.

No one else had made it out alive, not where I came from, not that I knew anyway. For a while, I told myself some of the people I had grown up with had. They were strong. They were out there surviving somewhere. I had to repeat it to myself late at night when the crickets chirping was worse than the static of nothing ringing in my ears.

My small town had been almost fully annihilated in no more than a night. How I had survived sometimes surpassed over even my own head. I could only remember running, forcing myself to move forward to stay among those with a conscious soul.

For what had felt like literal ages I had been stealing cars, foraging for scraps of food, locking myself into small areas to hide, keeping my distance from anything moving, too scared to find out if it was alive or dead. The things I had seen in hiding coming from both sides of the spectrum scaring me for whatever the rest of my life were to be.

Three and a half long years I was forsaken. It had felt like an eternity in the fucked-up world that had somehow come crashing down, all from a virus. One day the human race was thriving, the next it was close to extinction. We were no longer seated on top of the food chain. Something much worse was.

The days had gone by for me slowly. I'd sit locked away in a room with no windows, no way to tell when the sun went down and the moon rose up. I had become fairly good at guessing games. Night travel was the only way I could bring myself to face anything, not being able to take the view that the sun had allowed. It was real then, in the light. I spent all my time since day one alone. Nothing to keep me company but whatever I had found to use to protect myself. And the thoughts in my own head. The thoughts of a terrified girl.

I remembered yearning to hear another voice, I hadn’t even found Citizen Z's yet. I longed to hear one that was more than just gurgles, growls, snarls - the nightmarish screams didn’t count either. How I could've gone without each and every single one that ended up haunting my dreams, filling even the waking moments in the start. They had always been cries for help that I could never bring myself to assist with. What could I do after all? I was just one person. One shaking person who had even become afraid of the light. Thankfully though, after a while, even those disappeared. 

I remembered wondering if I'd ever get that again, a chance to hear someone – anyone speak. Would I ever get to see another set of eyes that wasn't cold and glazed over? Would I ever get to feel the skin of someone warm, or would I just end up becoming one of those things, just another mindless flesh eating, live devouring creature? 

My mind would often wander into dark places after that. Sometimes I'd just picture myself walking into a group of them, feeling their nails clawing away at me, their teeth biting into my soft flesh, just giving up. Because if I was isolated in the world was there really a point in fighting, was there really a reason to push on and live? There were dark times when I'd picture taking the knife, the ice pick, the set of safety scissors, whatever I had at the time and just giving in to the fear that was constantly coursing through my being. I didn’t have to be one of them to end my sorrows. I didn’t want to be one of them, those things, a zombie.

"But then, even through all my alienation, I remembered there is something else out there." Citizen Z continued, keeping my eyes open because he was something I could believe in, he was still talking so I’d still always be listening.

My eyes drifted from the window to the front seats, taking in the sight of the two people seated there than towards the one on my right, seated close to me looking just as tired as I had felt, his fingers laced in my own, running small circles over the top of my hand mindlessly with his thumb while his forehead pressed against the window of his own, eyes never straying from things passing him by.

Seeing them now, every day was always a sight for my otherwise sore eyes, because they had come along when everything had begun to feel helpless. They had saved me from being desolate. I could feel the rush of warmth gathering deep inside my chest at the thought. My saviors, my family, these were the very people that gave me a reason to push on, they had made my life worth keeping.

_I had heard it off in the distance one night, the sound of an engine humming with life as I pushed my sore body further and further down a dark road, shovel clenched tightly in the palm of my shaky hand, ready to give mercy where mercy was due. I had done it plenty before, fear driving me to swing away. Why was I was still going though, my thoughts came up blank._

__

_Closer and closer the noise got closing distance fast._

__

_Normally I would've run into the brush, normally I would've_ _hidden and tried to keep quiet until whomever it was passed. Normally I cared about surviving, but this time, this time was different, it didn’t matter who or what was coming behind me because let's face it, I just wanted to be out of this corner I was pushed into. Life, death, it didn’t matter now. Yet, I didn't have the backbone to do what I thought needed to be done to end this suffering, at least not by my own hand._

__

_The world had grown cold and lonely. Even if there were bad people approaching, they would still see me. They would still know I had made it this far, and that was all I really wanted, right? To be seen, for someone to know there was another soul out in this apocalyptic hell. An to whatever happened next, I'd welcome it with open arms._

__

_The headlights had wasted no time catching me, bathing me in yellow lights before the car came screeching to a halt just feet ahead causing me to freeze, wondering momentarily if I had made the right choice. It wasn't too late to make a beeline for the trees. Was my fear great enough to keep living like this? My body may still be intact, my organs and my insides still human, but for how much longer could my brain take this solitude? Too late to decide now, the car doors were quickly flying open, three dark figures pushing their way from the inside of the vehicle._

__

_Holy shit. There were actually real live people in there._

__

_I allowed the bag I had been carrying in my empty hand to fall to the ground with a small thud, leaning to the side in an attempt to get a better view, trying to use the light pouring from inside to see what may be coming my way. I could tell by the silhouettes one to be a female, the other two males, but that was it._

__

_"You out here alone?" Her voice caused me to hold my breath as she took just one small step closer. How lovely it was_ _at that moment to hear another person speak. This must've been just what falling in love was like, nothing I had compared to the feeling welling up inside me. All the happiness pooling its way into my heart was enough to make it stop. This was heaven, and her voice an angel leading me home, I had decided it in the moments to pass. It was like gold the way she spoke, worth more than anything in the world at this point. I could almost feel the burn of tears now attempting to force their way from my eyes, there was some else alive, with a real working voice box and I was allotted the chance to hear it. Even if it was possibly going to be the last time. "Are. You. Alone." Even her annoyance was something of beauty._

__

_"Addy," One of the males' voice was next to greet my ears. How bold it sounded, how wonderful, like_ _the waves of the ocean crashing against rocks. So deep I could bathe in it, bask in the glorious feeling of it as it sent tingles down my arms. "This seems real fuckin weird, what the hell is she doing just standing out here...we should just get back in the car, Warren and the others will be coming up real soon." I still couldn't make out what they looked like in the darkness, my eyes had already long since adjusted – they were just a bit too far ahead._

__

_"Are you...okay?" The second male questioned skeptically. Oh, gods, what had I done to deserve such a sound? The way he spoke was like music, the best song I had ever heard, something I could put on repeat all day and never get tired of it. The melody of it was timeless, like an old love song being played in the radio._

__

_Opening my mouth to speak was something I had only dreamed about doing. Parting my lips was all I could do, the words I needed to say unable to come, my shock was too great. Was I okay? Or just dumbstruck? I couldn't find the voice to describe to him just how wondrous my life had become in those few minutes. The absolute joy of just hearing other people were weighing me down, turning my legs into mush._

__

_"Addy, 10K..." The first guy spoke again, garnering all attention this time, not just my own._

__

_"Yeah, alright." The girl nodded turning on her heel getting ready to duck her head down and crawl back into the car._

__

_No, they couldn't do that. They couldn’t get back in the car and go on. Could they? I watched on, unable to think of something, anything to keep them there. Why couldn't I just open my mouth? Had my voice box broken from not being used in so long? My eyes watched on as the driver and the girl started entering the metal box, the one from the back still frozen in place. They weren't really going to just drive, where they? Surely, he was debating saying something?_

__

_"Mack," He had started before going silent._

__

_"Addy! Please wait!" This was it, my voice came out scratchy. I couldn't stop myself from repeating the name I heard him call out to her unable to take the suspense of waiting for a hero any longer, unwilling to let her get another inch into the car "Please take me with you! Don’t leave me here! I want to live!" What was I yelling_ _at her? Did I even understand it? Hadn't I just been willing to give up? I thought so, but my words had all come out like vomit falling from my lips uncontrollably, causing me to take a deep inhale as she froze there, one leg already inside the cab, hands resting on top of the roof, slowly her head turned towards me._

"You're out there. All of you, still full of hope. We still have hope. Just because we don’t have something right now, doesn’t mean it'll never happen. Sometimes that's all you have, and when you have nothing else but it, you have everything. Life has a funny way of working out just when you believe it never will, all because you had that hope." I could tell C.Z was smiling at his early morning realization, even unable to see him physically. 

_"What's your name?" Addy nodded towards me before letting her head fall to the side a bit, keeping it tilted slightly awaiting my answer._

__

_"People used to call me [Name], back when there were people..." I averted my eyes from them knowing they couldn't see but still feeling slightly weird after introducing myself. How long had it been since I had even heard my own name?_

__

_"How long have you been out here, [Name]?" Addy questioned of me, I assumed her gaze was locked on my figure, trying to assess me for her own reasons._

__

_"Couple of days, now..." It was a mere shrug. How long had I been walking out here; did I even really know or had I slept a couple days in my last hideout? Time was lost to me._

__

_"So, you wanna live, huh?" The one called Mack spoke out to me, causing my head to snap back up giving him a nod all thoughts I had once had about surrendering myself to the forces of this world washing away, hope igniting a new fire underneath me. Hope that I wouldn't ever have to be alone again. Hope that these were, in fact, good people. Hope that Addy was just as angelic as her voice sounded and that I had chosen the right one to plead to. "We're gonna need you to drop that weapon then, we can't really take any chances, ya know?"_

__

_"Y-yeah, I got it." Allowing my eyes to drift between the three of them I had made my decision to obey, shovel clanking down to the asphalt._

__

_"10K and I, we're gonna come over there and he's going to get the shovel – you can have it back, eventually - an I, I'm gonna help you with the rest of your stuff, alright?" I nodded along with Addy, my mind running a million miles a minute "Just know even if he doesn’t look like it, 10K is one hell of a shot, and the rest of our group isn't too far behind so if there's anything funny going on here..." The two of them cautiously made their way closer, my heart pounding in my chest. This was actually happening to me. This was real._

 

Addy's eyes caught sight of mine as I turned my gaze back to the rear-view mirror, locking for mere moments before she spoke. "You've been smiling like a doofus for ten minutes now, what's up?" She rose her eyebrow questioningly, the voice that had grown on me causing my smile to widen.

"I'm just," I could see Mack's eyes now, watching me as intently as Addy's in the mirror, 10ks gaze finding me out of the corners of my eyes "I'm just, hopeful. That’s all." I gave them all a toothy grin using Citizen Z's word as we all continued down the highway, the rest of our group tailing behind in a vehicle of their own. This was my life, had been for a while now. No longer was I alone. No longer did fear follow behind me like a lost puppy. They had saved me. They had been all I needed and more in these desperate times. 

_"I'm gonna ask you again," The boy gripped my tiny shovel in his hand, standing upright in front of me, his eyes locking onto mine, my legs shaky at the mere sight. No glaze, real, normal, breathtaking eyes as far as I could see "Are you okay?" His orbs searched mine as best as they could in the dark._

__

_"It's just," I could feel the girl, Addy, by my side now, picking up the small duffle bag I had dropped when they pulled up. Inhaling deeply was all I could do, my heart bursting inside my chest. I could feel it now, the tears streaming down my face crashing to the ground below "so good to hear your voice." Without so much as a second thought, no fucks given, I found myself tossing my arms around him, this boy they called 10K, his warmth seeping in through my clothes. "You're real. You're alive. You're not trying to steal my stuff, kill me, or eat me." I was sure he could feel my tears seeping into the fabric of his shirt as his body slightly tensed up under my brazen touch, but I couldn't help myself. "I can feel a heartbeat._ _Nothing ever felt this amazing before."_

__

_"H-hey," He hesitated for a moment before I felt one of his arms around my shoulders "Let's just get you to the car, okay?" I nodded not yet willing to drop my grip. He was fucking real. They were all real. The one thought wouldn't stop itself from dancing around inside my head. Everything I had lost hope in was here, picking me up from where the rest of the world had dropped me flat on my ass. Even if this was just an act, my instincts telling me otherwise, I was able to feel it again. Another living person was out here, there were others, I wasn't the only one._

"I guess what I'm trying to say is, I woke up this morning feeling lost, like the only soul left in this vast world of ours. An then I remembered, you're out there. You're listening to me right now, even if I can't see you, even if I can't hear you, I know what my voice is doing for you, and that's why I'm still talking." Citizen Z continued on aloof to all the things running through my mind that he sparked.

Biting down on my bottom lip gently I couldn't help but slide myself across the seat, closer to the first person I had felt again after the start of the apocalypse. Without skipping a beat, he quickly pulled his hand from mine in favor of resting his arm behind me, tossing it around the back of the seat, giving my shoulder a squeeze. "It's good to see you smile." 10K allowed me to rest my cheek on his shoulder, before resting his own on the top of my head. 

"It's always been good, to see you." I teased nuzzling deeper into him, forcing an arm behind him, tossing the other around the front of his waist to pull him into a hug, him making no second guesses in pulling me closer with his arm. 

Inhaling deeply Citizen Z ended his thought after a minute's break, with one final sentence, nothing more fitting he could find to say aside from "Better things are coming, I know it. All you have to do is hold on to that hope."


End file.
